Last week the ‘one year ago today’ posts started showing up on Facebook, it has been now over one year since I won a silver medal in Rio, yes, I say ‘Won’ a silver medal (and not lost a Gold medal) so if you want that story then have a look back over our Team Jolly website. It was just a real realisation that a whole year had passed, and I still don’t know quite what is next!
I am living in Holland at the moment, about as far from NZ as I could be, and have very little in the way of set plans right now – if you ask me what I am doing next week, I really can’t say… I’m just waiting.. For something to pop up, or something to make sense, or something to become clearer!
I caught a lucky break this week after I was a bit down over the weekend, when my boyfriend PJ’s sister Marieke (who we are staying with this week – yes, sort of homeless too) told me about the local yoga studio Balansz that happens to be doing a free week trial. It was the push I needed to take some ‘me’ time, it’s been a while. I have been all over the world this past year, sailed on various boats, onshore and offshore, met a bunch of amazing people, but also spent most of the time a little lost, unsure of myself, and constantly questioning what I am doing, and what I should be doing, and what I want to be doing.
The first yoga class, just having to stop rushing, to see myself in the mirror – I didn’t recognise myself, I have spent the last year trying to get bigger and stronger in a push towards the Volvo Ocean Race, and I have rather more shoulder and muscle than I did a year ago, and bit too much more fat too! It was actually a bit of a shock. I have been so busy, head down just chasing this idea of the VOR, to try and find some event big like the Olympics, that I have lost track of some of the simple things I really find satisfying… Making a nice meal, exploring food shops, yoga in the evening, doing fitness for enjoyment rather than because it is training, writing also… I used to write our Team Jolly updates, and I realised I really miss it. So two days ago I just started writing… A document on my laptop now has 14,000 words, I guess just trying to put down some memories so I can see them a little clearer… And that is where this blog comes in. A sharing tool 🙂 As one thing I have realised after this year of uncertainty: Everything gets better as you share it.
In reality I have spent a year searching, something that really makes me want to get up in the morning… Not sure I am much closer than a year ago, I am a lot clearer on what I don’t want! But the what I do, is a still little elusive… So what better way to start a new chapter, than spend some time on the simple things I enjoy… In amongst the chaos!