Well, a door closed – now a very different one opens…
I have the opportunity to return back to NZ in the next few months, and start what I can only describe as a ‘real job’ in November.
I have known it was a possibility for a while… Two roads diverge and all. But it’s a little more real when you actually get the offer.
I don’t really know how to feel about it, anyone I talk to outside of yachting says it is a brilliant opportunity, a way into a good company at a higher level than I would usually be able to find – given my extreme lack of real jobs over the years. I would finally be using that business degree (that I am still two papers away from finishing), as well as many of the transferable skills I have learnt along the way.
It is just a completely different way of life though isn’t it, I am going to come across as a spoilt athlete here – but the idea of 8.30-5pm every single day without fail just freaks me out a bit. I’m sure it will actually be very interesting and cerebrally stimulating, which would be a nice change – however it is such a different lifestyle to comprehend! Don’t even get me started on work clothes, I mean, what are work clothes? I do know most of you out there manage these scary aspects just fine, so it must be doable.
Seems strange but I find the idea of committing to a ‘normal’ job much scarier than trying to do a race around the world…
There is also the fact that I would need to head back to NZ soon, without having completed what I set out to do – the VOR. With 6 months of great memories to show for it – but not that feeling of having ticked it off. It also feels like having to start from scratch again at home.. buying a car, finding somewhere to live again, furniture, all those basics… I’m not sure why that part feels so heavy to me… I guess I wanted to come back having achieved everything I set out to do! I’m fussy that way 🙂
Also the thought of moving back to the other side of the world to PJ is definitely not helping make things simple.
But I do honestly believe that everything happens for a reason… So this too can be good.
I know there are still possibilities for doing the VOR with other teams, but not at the level that Brunel would have been. So I am undecided in whether or not to chase it for the sake of doing it… I do I want to try and do something next that really utilizes a wider variety of my skills, and still unclear if VOR ticks enough boxes.
The other question mark for me about the VOR – that I am not sure my body would hold up to 8 months of sailing around the world. I pushed so hard in the years to Rio, and had consistent low level infections for the last two years of that campaign – I have done some recovering in the last year – but it still feels like a very slow process, and I know I am not back to full health yet.
Then again I also don’t think that would stop me if I took that path! As I really can push through anything if I want to get something done!
Decisions, decisions… For now just working on building a clear picture of my options to help make my decisions, and looking for some fun coaching or sailing work over the next few months to keep me going!